Grandchildren....Gods reward



JARED AND TAYLA NOVEMBER 2011

I don't remember a time when I have been more proud of my kids than I am right now.  My 2 children who are parents, are doing such a good job with their kids.  Jared is a stay at home dad, and doing an excellent job raising his two little boys.  Recently we went to Logan to see his little girl Tayla.  She is 7 and quite the little comedian.  I think she comes by that pretty naturaly.  Whenever they are together she is so good to Jared, and shows him so much love.  She is being brought up very well by her adoptive family.  She always says she has 2 daddys and one mommy.  It has been so good for Jared to have her continue to be in his life.  He has something to work for.  He has really turned his life around, and continues to improve all the time.  I think Tayla is a huge reason for that. 


TAYLA AGE: 7

JARED AND TAYLA SHOWING OFF THEIR TALENT

JARED AND TAYLA

Jared and Benjamin

Jared also has a new baby boy Benjamin; he is doing a good job taking care of him, and his big brother Jullian when Annie is at work.  Jared has always been a very loving father towards his children.  It really does not suprise me in the least that he is choosing to be a stay at home dad.

Jullian Age: 2




Benjamin Age: 3 months

 
Jamii, and Seth recently was able to find a nice apartment and move in.  They had been living with her in-laws for quite a long time.  I am so happy for them to be able to have their own place, and be able to live their life on their own. 

Benjamin and Abbi they are only 5 weeks apart and Benjamin is so much bigger.

Jocelyn, she is the little mommy. 

She tries to help Jamii with her younger sisters as much as a 4 yr old actually can.

Jocelyn Age 4, and AJ Age 3

Abbi

Avah 19 months

A good friend posted this on her facebook and it got me thinking.  Thinking of all the moments she would have to face her ex-husband.  The wedding of her daughter for one.  I remember that day; the wedding of my daughter.  Oh, how she wished she had a father to share in that day for her.  But in the end it was just as it was supposed to be, with all three of her brothers taking their turn giving her away.  Since then there have been births of  babies, engagements, broken relationships, tears of sadness and tears of joy for all of my children. Sometimes I think about how it all would be different if they had a father who loved them; but I for one do not miss his presence in our life.

The thing that really got me thinking was the reality of his release.  In only a few short months he will face the parole board again.  This time he could be given a release date.  How do I feel about that?  Not ready for that day for one.  But more so not ready for my children to have to worry about where he is all the time.  If he should be released that alone could change things for not just my children but for me as well.  The comfort of knowing he is safely locked up and we are safe would be gone.  I would hope we wouldn't need to look over our shoulder all the time; I wouldn't want that feeling of hypervigilance.  My hope would be for him to continue his sentence; he isn't nearly finished 13 yrs of a 30 yr sentence isn't hardly enough.  The reality is he will gain his freedom in my lifetime, and I will have to just deal with it.  My children however, should not have to deal with that.   

So everyday I pray for my kids to have a father figure in their life.  Someone they can look up to, someone they can love, someone to care about them in return.  Most of the kids have had excellent role models, but still something is missing.  "A Father"
I do look back at the past 12+ years, and all of us have had to overcome so much. We also have an awfully lot to celebrate.  We have celebrated our own emotional freedom.  I for one have gone on to have a career I can be proud of.  We have 8 darling babies in our family.  My daughter has supportive in laws, and a husband who loves her dearly. Jared is doing better than I think I have ever seen him.  My kids are all doing well, and well on their way to leading happy productive lives.  Zach, and Ethan included.   My hopes and dreams for each of them is to allow their fathers parole hearing to be again a healing process.  Where they again can see how strong they are and how powerless he is over them.  Like I have said again, and again over the years.  "It was not our choice to become a victim, but it is our choice to remain one. "  No longer does he have that power.   

The Journey of a lifetime begins with a single step.

Sometimes we have to go outside of ourselves, and really loose every sense of ourselves before we really figure out who we really are.  What is really important?  Is it our jobs that define us?  I thought so for quite a long time.  Let me be the first to say I have had some pretty amazing jobs, and helped a lot of people; but in the end not one of them defined who I was.   The last few months I have been on a journey to really loose myself in order to figure out what I am really all about.  Resigning from the YWCA was one extremely difficult thing to do, but once it was done; I never felt better.  I didn't walk away with a feeling of failure, I walked to something bigger than myself.  Life!  Shortly after leaving the YWCA I decided to do something different than I had ever done before.  I was going to go have fun for a change; little did I know the next 6 months I would work harder than I had in many, many years.  I was Alaska bound, and looking to have the time of my life.  The first month I wanted to shoot myself, and I couldn't believe what I had gotten myself into. In fact my first night there left a lot to be desired; as I lay there in my bed watching 2 vole chasing each other around my room.  Welcome to Alaska Lisa.

Two weeks till the army of employees arrived, and it was up to me to have all 184 rooms clean, and ready for occupancy.  Not quite what I thought I would be doing when I took this job, but nevertheless it was my job.  There was someone else hired to help me, but she proved to be useless, spending most of her time either complaining about the job, or literally crying.  So yes it was up to me.

The next 5 1/2 months proved to be the most life changing.  I looked forward to waking early every morning hopeful I would see Mt. McKinley in all her glory.  I took every opportunity given to me to enjoy Gods creations.  Now I have some pretty amazing stories to tell, and my circle of friends now circles the globe.

As I have contemplated my next step, I wasn't quite sure where it would take me.  I looked at jobs in resorts all across the United States; but nothing seemed right.  Having the skills for job search comes in handy for yourself at times.  I decided to look outside the box so to say, and extend myself beyond what I thought was expected of me.  I had just learned from 5 1/2 months of living in the Alaska wilderness that there is so much more to life than Walmart, and Movies 10.  That's what happens when the nearest real store is over 2 hours away.  You learn to do without, and do with less.

So my search began outside the box.  I have helped a lot of people here in the United States, and I am the first to say we need to help our own.  But somewhere along the line, I began feeling a pull to go outside of the United States and extend myself to those in need.  I don't have a lot of money to give them, but what I do have is my time.  If I was to go there thinking I had it all figured out, and I was going to teach them a thing or two, then I would be missing out on a lifetime learning opportunity.  It took me some time to really figure out where to go, there are lots of volunteer organizations some good some not so much.  I came across one a few weeks ago, and no matter how much I tried I couldn't get the kids there off my mind.  I had almost given up on going, and almost decided just to spend my winter in cold snowy Utah.  But, I just could not stop thinking about those kids in Uganda. They had no parents, their parents had either been killed, or died from Aids.

Through a very amazing and generous friend I am able to go to Uganda, God really is in charge.  And works in sometimes weird ways.  5 weeks from now I'll be on a plane on my way to Uganda, I don't know that I will be changing the world at all; but pretty certain I will come back yet again a very different person than I am today...the world would have changed me.          

Kampala Uganda